Nicolas's Site
 
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
By Nicolas V.

Like a citrus fruit,
you are sweet and acrid at the same time.
Some people find it difficult,
to deal with you,
but like a stick shift car,
some don't know how to work with you,
however, I do.

You are a mermaid encountered by Odysseus,
for when you sing, you put a spell on me.
You capture me, and you don't want me to go,
But what I want you to know is
that I don't want to go.

Emily K
9/8/2010 19:31:37

This poem is really beautiful. I love your first simile because it is a very relateable description- all of your literary devices are really well placed. I think it would be really good if you expanded on the second stanza- the girl is a mermaid/siren. If you added more sensory word it's might paint an even more vivid picture.

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